life is full of surprises!!!..

un na..

statement of the year...

silence.. solitude..darkness..

three words that I have thought about inside the library this afternoon..

realization=

I fear these three..

I do not want to be in the middle of a silent crowd for I would not know who to approach, who to talk to, who to be with. I do utter alot of stories each day and my friends know that very well. Being alone in the library felt quite similar to that. For the first time I saw no familiar face despite the fact that I was still inside the campus. I wanted to shout because the absence of noise was overwhelming.

The silence caused me to imagine another thing: solitude.. It is as if everybody around me started to disappear. Call me paranoid but that was exactly how I felt. So I just closed my eyes to escape..

Darkness.. that was the next thing I thought of. I saw nothing. It was getting worse and I did not know what to do. I felt so afraid. I could not take it anymore.

(cellphone: toot toot)

Estar_popo: tapos na kme.. san tau mgkta?

Finally, my paranoia came to its end....

realization:: ayaw ko ng maging loner!!! waaahhhhh!!!

As I write these words, tears are running down my cheeks..
but these tears are the last tears that I would be shedding for HIM.

I know it has been years and I should have done this a long time ago but I am

FINALLY LETTING GO!

I have uttered these words before but they were merely said but I never really learned to do so.

It all started when yesterday afternoon, I found out that a friend of mine happens to be HIS friend way back in High School. We did not talk much about HIM but just this afternoon, he sort of told me something, which really hit me. It was as if I have spent the past few years being the dumbest person alive. He need not say much but I got what he meant. I must say he was not the first person to tell me that for my friends have been saying the same words but it was a lot different when it came from him. He is HIS friend for crying out loud!!!

Enough is enough! I know it would be hard but at least this time it is me telling myself that it is over. Yes, I admit that I have always believed that WE would end up together but not anymore. I am FREE!!! Free from the pain, free from being stupid, free from HIM!!!

I would not let myself be HIS prisoner anymore.
I have closed the door that led to HIM and I swear I would never ever open it again..
My bitterness is over. I know I would never forget HIM, but I know I would learn to live WITHOUT HIM. HE is not my world anymore and HE will never be again. I do not know if WE could be friends in the near future but that does not really matter anymore. What matters is that I have accepted the truth.. HE is not worth waiting for, HE is not worth it!!! period!!!!! I have had enough..

So as I wipe my tears, I say that

Finally..

Angge is free!!!